


Shattered Trust

by Burgie



Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-12 10:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16870960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: Daine has a really bad day. Daine belongs to HellishSam and Willow belongs to willownorthbook.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HellishSam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellishSam/gifts).



Daine had never known Nilmer's Highland to be exactly peaceful. Oh, sure, it was out of the way and there was none of the wifi here that some of the larger, more communal areas of Jorvik had, like the stables at Moorland and the entirety of Jarlaheim, but people were interested in the place for more than just that reason. The real reason was currently sitting across from Daine on a picnic blanket that he'd insisted on because he didn't want to get his pants dirty.

And Daine would be lying if he said that Ydris wasn't also the main reason for him coming here. Coming back here, time after time, no matter what else he had to do. He had horses to train, there were Jorvegians to help, there was money to be made and friends to hang out with. But there was Ydris, too. He hadn't intended on falling for Ydris, not really. It had just been an arrangement, at first, he'd give Ydris some money in exchange for taking him inside the wagon and showing him a good time. But now, Daine found Ydris creeping into his thoughts more and more often. A flash of purple, the sight of a dark-furred North Swedish horse (it didn't help that he also had a black North Swedish named Magic), and his eyes were always seeking out the huge purple tent on the horizon. Daine's friends joked that he could find his way to the circus tent from anywhere on Jorvik, but it was the truth.

It was very pretty here, too. And not just because of the handsome magician in front of Daine, with his flawless skin that was as smooth as it looked and bicoloured eyes that seemed to hold a tinge of purple (especially by firelight, which Daine was more than capable of summoning) and glossy black hair beneath his purple top hat that Daine loved to run his fingers through. But aside from Ydris, there were the blue butterflies that Daine could often see here. One had even landed on Cloud's nose once, the dapple grey (his coat now greying further) Jorvik Warmblood currently being the lock screen on his phone. His home screen, though he'd never admit it to anyone, was Ydris.

Daine knew that he had to tell Ydris how he felt. That he should stop hiding from his feelings. That he should just grow a pair and say that he loved Ydris like he hadn't loved anyone since Tyler. After all, he hadn't told Tyler how he'd felt, and now look at what had happened. He still had that shard of Aideen's light, the one that he'd thought was just a crystal on Tyler's body, tucked safely away in his stable, wrapped in several sweatshirts. And he knew that Ydris probably wouldn't die if he didn't say how he felt, knew that Ydris wasn't Tyler and that he could look after himself, but-

The buzzing of a phone (not a bee) derailed Daine's thoughts. The sense of relief that washed over him was both a good and a bad thing. Good because he felt better, but... now, he felt like a coward. Taking any excuse to chicken out, just like he always did.

"Aren't you going to get that?" Ydris asked. He was currently half-lying on the picnic blanket, his upper body supported by one of the tall, thick firs that grew here on the highland. His hat was tipped down almost rakishly over one eye, making Daine's mouth go dry. God, he was handsome.

"It's just a text, probably one of my friends," said Daine with a shrug.

"And yet, it could be something far more important. A summons from a great magician, perhaps, or it could even be destiny calling."

"Well, considering you're right here, it can't be that first one," said Daine. Ydris preened at the praise, and Daine couldn't bring himself to be mad at that smirk. He was the one who'd said it, after all.

"I really won't mind if you check your phone, you know," said Ydris. "Just because I do not concern myself with such things doesn't mean that others cannot."

"Alright, fine, I'll check it," said Daine, taking his phone out of the pocket of his leaf-patterned teal sweatshirt (his favourite). The message made him utter a curse, though.

"What is it?" Ydris asked, setting his hat to rights and sitting up straight. He towered over Daine now that he was sitting, even though Daine was sitting as well. That was annoying, it made him hard to kiss. Not that he did that too often, only when things were starting. And, judging by this text, there was no time for things to start with Ydris.

"The druids," said Daine. "Elizabeth wants me to go talk to Alex or something? I dunno."

"Then fly to them," said Ydris. Those words made Daine feel like he'd been punched in the gut. Because maybe it was just a saying, but maybe Ydris was being literal- he had found Daine in Pandoria that first time, after all. And, yeah, maybe he hadn't seen the wings beyond the wound that was left from them being torn from his back, but Daine hadn't found the courage to ask.

"I guess it is important, huh?" said Daine. Ydris gave him a smile that damn near took his breath away.

"Indeed it is, or so they would have you think," said Ydris. Daine almost wanted Ydris to give him a kiss goodbye, but he squashed that idea before he could think too much about it.

"Sure you won't be bored without me?" Daine asked instead. Not that they really did anything, aside from going for the odd trail ride or just sitting around talking quietly. When they weren't occupied with other activities, of course.

"I shall simply have to find some way to entertain myself," said Ydris, his tone airy. It was almost enough to make Daine smile. Almost. "I have been giving out more fortunes lately, perhaps I will do some more of them. They pay well, at any rate."

"Not as well as me, though," said Daine. Ydris simply shrugged, a delightful smile sprawling across his face.

"What we do is far more enjoyable than telling young girls that they will find their true love, Daine," said Ydris. "Return soon."

"After you said that? I'm considering just not going to see Alex," said Daine. "But I guess I should go be responsible."

"Yes, you should," said Ydris, his eyes lingering on Daine. Daine could feel Ydris' eyes on him the whole way over to Cloud, who had been left to graze by the circus tent.

"C'mon, Cloud," said Daine, a blue butterfly taking flight from Cloud's back. His horse gave a friendly nicker of greeting, leaning in to receive a loving pet from his rider. And Daine knew that Ydris was still watching him as he rode away. He could feel those purple-tinged eyes on him, burning his skin.

In Valedale, Elizabeth Sunbeam redirected Daine and Cloud to the Valley of the Hidden Dinosaur. Daine really, really didn't want to go there. Not when he still woke screaming from nightmares about being trapped beneath the ice as the freezing water leached his life from his body.

"Fine," said Daine, shrugging, his voice somehow calm despite the intense fear that blazed through his body and threatened to freeze his bones. Just like they'd frozen once before.

"Are you sure about this, dad?" Cloud's voice had startled Daine the first time he'd heard it, but now, it was a comforting reminder that he always had someone with him to talk to him and calm him. Or at least try to. Cloud had been Daine's reason for living for a long time now, since he'd first met the little colt at the summer camp in Moorland.

"I'll be fine," said Daine, trying to make it sound as though he was trying to reassure himself. Elizabeth didn't know that he'd died, of course, nobody did. Only Cloud. Cloud and Aideen.

"Hey." This time, the relief that washed through Daine at the sound of Willow's voice wasn't tinged by despair.

"Ohthankgod," said Daine, his words rushing together as he turned to face Willow, who sat in front of him astride her silver dapple Jorvik Warmblood Hawkeye.

"Elizabeth texted me too," said Willow, holding her phone up. "And I had to go when she mentioned that Alex needed someone."

"Do I still have to go there?" Daine asked, glancing up at the frozen pass at the very top of the mountain. The sight of it made him forget how to breathe properly.

"You can go and hang out with Ydris, if you want," said Willow. "And I'll hang out with Alex." Her teasing smirk would have ordinarily made him angry. Now, it threatened to do the same, but this time, it was because Daine wanted nothing more than to go to Ydris so that the magician could help him calm down from the panic currently racing through his veins.

"Fuck off," Daine snapped at her as he turned Cloud and rode away, headed for Moorland. He could have taken the trailer or gone past Silverglade to get there faster, but Daine really needed to feel the wind in his hair right now. He needed to feel alive. Maybe that way, he could forget that he'd ever died.

"Daine! Hey!" Justin's voice had never been more annoying as Daine grit his teeth and pulled Cloud to a stop. Cloud seemed only too eager to talk to the Moorland boy, of course. Daine couldn't believe that he'd ever liked him, honestly. That had been a mistake, and he hadn't known that Ydris existed for those brief few moments.

"What do you want, Justin?" Daine asked, wondering if he sounded as annoyed as he felt. Judging by Justin's completely oblivious expression, he hadn't heard any annoyance. Or he'd just ignored it.

"I think I know where Concorde is," said Justin. That brought Daine's thoughts to a screeching halt again.

"Where?" Daine asked, hoping that he didn't sound too hopeful.

"I know that he's somewhere around here," said Justin. Daine sighed. How specific. "Look, just let me up on Cloud and I'll tell you where to go."

"You didn't have to go to these lengths to ride Cloud, you know," said Daine. "You could've just asked."

"What? No, I'm serious," said Justin. He was already dragging a mounting block across the Moorland Stables courtyard. Not that Cloud was particularly big, but Justin was a little out of practice when it came to mounting horses. A year or so with Dark Core and then trapped in druid jail would probably do that to him.

Once he was seated on Cloud's dark grey rump behind Daine, Justin closed his eyes and started murmuring to himself, placing his hands on either side of his head.

"Are you okay?" Daine asked, uncertainty making his voice a little higher.

"Yeah, I'm just searching," said Justin, sounding entirely too chipper. "Alright. I see a trail in front of you."

"That would be the road," said Daine, turning Cloud so that he was facing the road that led out of Moorland Stables and to the surrounding area.

"Go along it," said Justin. "Up the hill? Huh. That seems suspicious."

"Okay," said Daine. He nudged Cloud into a canter, not wanting to go too fast so that Cloud wouldn't have trouble stopping if Justin needed him to stop all of a sudden.

Justin's directions took the three of them up the hill to Nilmer's Highland, where they turned to continue on the trail that the Bobcat Race usually took. Daine remembered when that had been the most difficult race he'd ever ridden. It was better than acknowledging the longing that Daine felt to just leave Justin with Cloud and run over to the circus, into the arms of the man he loved. But Concorde was more important. Anne was more important. And damn it, why couldn't that goddess get out of his head? Why couldn't she have chosen anyone other than a gay man?

Daine was so busy seething over Anne that he didn't really notice when the cobblestone road turned to grass. When the sighing of wind through the pines became achingly familiar. When the odd scents of cinnamon and cotton candy reached his nose. Daine only noticed that when he managed to pull himself away from his thoughts. When he looked up.

At the light grey Lusitano mares, their heads bedecked with fancy pink feathers. At the tent that he'd seen erected before his eyes. At that very spot beneath the tree where he'd been sitting only minutes before.

At the circus.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncomfortable truths are revealed.

"Shit," Daine whispered. Maybe his feet, or rather Cloud's hooves, had led him straight back here to the circus. Maybe it had been a mistake, maybe Justin's Wild Whispering skills were wrong. But, as Justin slid down off of Cloud's back, Daine knew that he hadn't been wrong.

Daine dismounted, Cloud looking after him with an uncertain nicker, but Daine only gave his snout a reassuring rub as he slowly crossed the grass in front of the circus. It felt... it felt a hell of a lot like the night that he'd found Tyler. His feet just knew where to go, almost as though he were following will o' the wisps. He could almost swear that he saw them, but maybe his panic was leading him to hallucinate. It was certainly making his hands shake, his chest tight, his breathing a little more difficult.

"No," Daine whispered when he finally came in sight of the cages. It was faint, but he could definitely see a living creature in the biggest cage, the one with wheels and iron bars. Daine stopped in front of this largest cage, reaching a shaking hand out. The tiny foal inside was the same size that Cloud had been when Daine had first found him. Only this one was almost a mouse grey colour with light grey down his chest and legs. His tiny mane and tail, too, were white. He looked up when he saw Daine and gave a tiny whinny, taking a step towards Daine.

Daine's hand only just had time to brush the ghostly foal's tiny muzzle, but that was enough. The searing heat that rushed through him, the pure, condensed feeling of regality, was all Daine needed in order to know who this foal was. Who he was born to be.

"Hey, you're not supposed to be here." Xin had always been a thorn in Daine's side, always hovering around when he wanted to do things with Ydris. Now, Daine turned to him with a snarl, knowing that his eyes were glowing purple as he bared his teeth.

"Fuck off, Xin," Daine snarled. He pointed a shaking finger at Concorde. "Why does Ydris have the missing Soul Steed?"

"You'll have to ask him yourself," said Xin. "But not today. The circus is closed today. Leave."

"Make me," Daine spat, taking a step in the direction of the big top where he somehow knew Ydris was hiding. The coward. He was shaking so much that he could barely stand.

Inside the tent, Ydris froze as the undeniable feeling of Daine surrounded him, the feeling of fire and heat and such sadness. No. He wasn't allowed to be here. Raising a hand, Ydris whispered a silent apology to the man he'd come to care so deeply for. He shouldn't care so deeply. Not for a human. Not for someone who was working for them.

Daine felt like the breath had been knocked out of him. He stood outside of the maze that had suddenly appeared around the circus, breathing heavily, anger and panic warring inside him. He heard Linda ride up and start speaking to Justin, but he ignored them. Cloud stepped up to him, nuzzling Daine's hand, ears pinned as he tried in vain to calm his rider. Daine let the nuzzle happen, tears stinging his eyes as he stared at that maze. It looked like fire. His fire. And fuck, that hurt so much more than it should have. Daine closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, and tried to get his breathing under control so that he wouldn't have a breakdown in front of fucking Justin.

"Daine?" Linda said. It sounded like it wasn't the first time she'd said it. Daine looked at her, and at the anger in his eyes, Linda shrank back a little. That was almost uncharacteristic of her, but maybe Daine looked terrifying. He fought the urge to check himself for cat ears. He couldn't feel his fangs or claws, they'd have torn through his bottom lip and hands if he had them. He was angry, yes, but not that angry. Yet.

"What?" Daine snapped at her.

"Let's go to Pi, she might know a way past this forcefield," said Linda.

"Forcefield?" Daine echoed. "The fuck are you talking about? It's a maze." He gestured to it, trying to ignore those flickering purple flames.

"...no, it's a forcefield," said Linda. "See?" She walked up to the maze and touched the air just outside of it. Daine frowned.

"No?" said Daine. He stepped closer to the maze, just inside the entrance of it. Cloud gave an uncertain nicker but couldn't seem to get past that invisible barrier that Linda was touching. Either she was very good at miming, or...

"Huh, that's weird," said Linda. "I wonder why you can see past the maze and we can't."

"I guess I'm just special," said Daine.

"Well, I definitely can't get in," said Linda, stepping towards the entrance of the maze. She bumped into something, as did Cloud when he tried. Justin tried, too, but bumped into something and rubbed his forehead.

"You guys go to Pi," said Daine. "If you want. I'm going to talk to a magician."

"Was I right? Does he have Concorde?" Justin asked. Daine turned to them, rage making him shake. The betrayal hurt far more than it had any right to.

"Yes," said Daine. He turned back around, determination steeling his shaking legs. "I'll get Concorde, if it's the last thing I do."

One of Daine's skills, the one that was probably the most useful (according to his directionally-challenged friends, anyway) was the ability to navigate mazes. He used this now as he walked through the maze, his heart pounding more as he neared the exit of the maze. He came out in a clear space near the front of the tent, where the grass had worn down to dirt from many people going to and from the tent. He remembered when the sight of those fluttering flags, that shiny striped silk, had made his heart want to sing with joy. And it was beautiful. But now, the knowledge of who was inside, of who was responsible for Concorde being off-limits to the Soul Riders, made his stomach turn over. Maybe Ydris could explain himself, an optimistic part of Daine hoped. But he'd been here before. It was never not as bad as it seemed.

Just like many times before, Daine pushed aside the silk tent flap and stepped inside of the big top. The scents of sawdust and cinnamon wreathed around him, ordinarily a welcome greeting. But this time, he hated it. Especially the sight of that purple-eyed fuck standing in the centre ring, turned to look at him.

"Daine," Ydris began, and that was enough for Daine to march across the sandy floor and grab Ydris by the lapels, pulling him down to snarl in his face.

"Give me one good reason why you have Concorde," said Daine, every word burning like acid. He didn't want to cry in front of Ydris either, but his eyes burned.

"The Fabulous Flying Foal? For my show, of course," said Ydris. Daine grit his teeth, anger burning him from the inside out.

"Do you know who he is?" Daine ground out. The light in Ydris' eyes guttered, went out. He looked cold all of a sudden, aloof.

"I would truly be a fool to not know a Soul Steed when I saw one," said Ydris. Daine clenched his fists tighter, shaking now.

"Hand him over to the druids, now," said Daine. He wanted to ask why, wanted to demand an explanation other than 'for his show', as if it were the most important thing in the fucking world. But maybe he should just cut his losses and leave, hope that someone else could make him feel this way again. Because fuck, hadn't he learned his lesson with Tyler? Falling in love only led to bad things, to heartbreak, to a body in the woods. And fuck, now he was almost crying.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," said Ydris. "And I shan't explain myself to a fool like you." That one word stung more than it should have.

"Oh, I'm the fool, am I?" Daine asked. "Anne's trapped in Pandoria, and yeah, it's beautiful, but it fucking hurts and it's killing her and Concorde is the only thing that can get her out." His knees felt weak, his chest too tight, his body burning up in his rage. "Who's the fool now?"

"I don't know why I ever thought that you'd understand," said Ydris, shaking his head. "The druids have fooled you, Daine. Pandoria is not the land of monsters that you seem to believe it is."

"I dunno, Garnok's there," said Daine.

"He was banished there and is destroying my home every second, those druids deserve everything that happens to them, I have no sympathy for that court of fools!" Ydris snapped. Daine had never seen Ydris so upset before, so passionate about something. Maybe that was a good enough explanation, maybe they could work something out, maybe- "And you are little more than a freak in that court of fools."

Daine's broken heart finally cracked in two. That one word rang in his ears until it was all that he could hear. 'Freak'. He'd been called that many times, now. Had called himself that, too. And he'd come to believe it. Only Ydris had made him feel special. Made him feel wanted.

"I'm sorry, little dove," said Ydris, his hand tilting Daine's chin up so that he was staring into Daine's sunset-coloured eyes. Daine could barely see the purple in Ydris' eyes, now. "I promise this won't hurt- much."

He lied. The pain was worse than when Daine had first gone to Pandoria because this time things weren't growing, they were simply moving. He howled and fell forward as his knees snapped, turning backwards, his hands still curled into fists. They couldn't uncurl, no matter how hard he tried, and Daine lost his sight for a few brief terrifying moments. He screamed as his spine lengthened along with his arms and legs, muscles moving, ears moving back up to the top of his head. But some things were familiar. The feeling of a tail sprouting, for example, though it wasn't as long. The fur growing in felt weird, especially coming from his lengthened neck.

And, when Daine could finally see again, when his feet stopped hurting quite so much, when the pain faded away to a dull ache in his muscles and bones, he noticed that he was much higher up than he'd been before. Everything felt different, his anxiety higher than usual. And somehow, he was at eye-level with Ydris.

Daine lifted one arm and heard the thud of a hoof hitting the ground when he lowered it. Oh, god. No. This couldn't be happening. Daine closed his eyes, trying to take a few deep breaths through lungs that now felt much bigger. He trembled, his ears pinned against his head. But no matter how hard he wished, no matter how long he closed his eyes, it was still the same when Daine opened his eyes.

"And now, you truly are beautiful," said Ydris, reaching a hand up to stroke Daine's golden-furred cheek. Daine pinned his ears back, a weak whinny coming from his throat. He reared up, stumbling a little, and Ydris swore as he stepped out of the way.

Daine's hooves landed on the dirt floor in a different place, one surrounded by darkness and, dimly, a few circus items. Half-erected tents, huge balls, cannons, flaming hoops, poles of fire not unlike the butterfly pole bending race. There were other horses around him, too, looking just as uncertain, just as unused to being horses. Who else had Ydris changed like this?

The race was a blur, though Daine was honestly surprised that he could even stay standing as a horse, let alone run. He was so focused on the race that he forgot everything else for a moment. Until he got back. Until Ydris turned him back into his human form and Daine stared at him, hurt, the tears now able to fall.

"I might be a freak," said Daine, his voice shaking. "But you're the monster." Ydris' eyes blazed, and Daine wasn't surprised this time when he found himself outside of the tent, back on the road leading towards the Harvest Counties. He couldn't feel anything but despair.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daine returns to get Concorde and exact revenge.

Somehow, Daine didn't cry as he rode after Linda (Justin was riding double on Meteor, having still not retrieved his horse from the swamp, apparently). Cloud's voice, the gentle, insistent 'dad', tried to keep him grounded and tried to keep him from drowning in his own thoughts and the self-pity that swirled through him. But really, nobody could blame him for being so down- the man he'd been starting to fall for, who he'd thought that he could trust, the man who he was hoping loved him back... had turned him into a horse and then had the nerve to call him a freak. It was only the presence of Cloud and the judging humans who prevented him from turning around and going back in there to burn everything down.

"We have to stop Ydris somehow and get Concorde back from him, but how?" Linda was asking.

"Uhh... maybe we could try asking nicely?" Justin asked. Linda shook her head while Daine scoffed.

"Yeah, because I'm sure he's willing to listen to reason," said Daine, his voice rough. His throat still felt too tight, his eyes still burned, his heart still ached.

"You never know," said Justin.

"Maybe we should ask the druids," said Linda. "Avalon might know something."

"Oh, fat fucking chance," said Daine. After what Ydris had said (before calling him a freak, anyway), Daine wasn't sure who to trust. Had... had the druids and Soul Riders really banished Garnok to a populated place all those years ago? Had they been lying all this time? He hadn't seen any Pandorians there, but after what Garnok had done to him...

"Dad?" Cloud prompted. "They're looking at you."

"Try... I dunno. Evergray," said Daine. He trusted the exiled druid a hell of a lot more than he trusted the other druids. At least, he did right now.

"That's actually not a bad idea, Daine," said Linda.

"I love being called a dumbass, thanks," said Daine. He rode ahead of them, leaving the circus, and the remains of his heart, behind him. Tears still stung his eyes as he rode, but he gritted his teeth and tried to ignore that burn. Just as he ignored and tried to squash the part of him that really wanted to go back and ask Ydris about Pandoria.

One trip to Valedale and a confusing conversation with much brotherly bickering later, Daine found himself being handed a large hammer by Big Bonny. He hefted it easily, despite the obvious weight of it. Bonny had staggered a little handing it to him, her frail frame barely able to hold the heavy instrument.

"You're really going to make a clock out of scrap metal?" Daine asked. But stranger things had happened- apparently, someone had managed to repair the elevator to Dino Valley using nothing more than some odds and ends found around the base of the elevator.

"That's the plan, yes," said Bonny, nodding. She adjusted her large glasses, fitted with lenses to help her see the tiny workings of smaller clocks. "You go on and fetch those things, I'll have a good old chat to this interesting fellow."

"Alright," said Daine, walking down the stairs. Maybe he could take some of his anger out on the things that he was supposed to be collecting scrap metal from. And, as he destroyed an already-broken part of the wall, smashed some metal from the tractor that was always in town for some reason, and tore some gears from inside the clock tower itself, Daine did feel a little better. Hitting something with a hammer was just as good as punching something when it came to letting off steam. But he couldn't bring himself to imagine that he was swinging the hammer at the magician who'd caused this pain in his heart, this anger in his veins. No matter how hard he tried, his eyes only blurred with tears at the thought of it.

"Right, now, once you've got this clock on your horse, Daine, you should be able to ride through the force field when you ring the alarm on it," said Bonny, placing the assembled clock on Cloud's hindquarters after wards. Cloud shifted his hooves uncertainly, glancing back at the clock, and Daine glanced back at it too.

"Okay," said Daine. "Sounds easy enough."

"And then, when you ride close to Ydris, it should incapacitate him," said Evergray, looking entirely too excited about this. A part of Daine cried out at this notion, at the very idea of bringing harm to Ydris. "That way, you can tell him to hand over Concorde or suffer the Cosmic Clock." Daine knew that it sounded cruel, but right now, he wanted Ydris to hurt. Wanted him to hurt as much as he was hurting right now.

"I'll do it," said Daine. "C'mon, Cloud."

When his sense of direction led him back to the circus this time, Daine felt just a little guilty. But mostly, he just felt anger surging through his veins as he got closer to the purple-striped tent and the glowing pink forcefield that currently enclosed it. He could probably get through the forcefield without the clock, honestly. But he didn't want to make Justin and Linda more suspicious than they already were. Besides, he wanted Ydris to hurt for as long as possible.

"Okay, time to go in," said Linda, riding to a stop beside Daine out the front of the tent between the tent and the wagon that Daine had spent so much time in. It hurt to look at now. "I just have to ring this alarm."

When Linda turned the lever to start up the alarm on the Cosmic Clock, Daine cried out in pain as fire surged through his body, worse than before. He couldn't see anything physically happening to his body, so he was pretty sure that his body wasn't changing, but the pain was like nothing he'd ever felt before.

"Whoa, are you alright?" Justin asked, eyes wide with concern as he stepped towards Daine with his hand held out.

"Yeah, it just- hurts," said Daine through grit teeth. "But I'll still do this. I have to." He took deep breaths, though his head was pounding now too like the worst hangover ever. Even his teeth ached, though they didn't change. It felt like his body wanted to transform but it couldn't. His scar burned like fire, too. A jolt of fear passed through him as he noticed that the other two weren't being affected by the pain. So why was he being affected?

"Ydris might know," Cloud suggested, his voice breaking through the thick fog of pain. And, well, Daine had to go there anyway. He turned Cloud to face the tent and rode in, pushing aside the silken tent flap with more force than before.

"I didn't think you'd have the nerve to show your face here ag-" Ydris broke off into a scream of pain, his body bowing forward as he clapped his hands over his ears. He glared up at Daine from across the tent. "What is that infernal noise?"

"Give us Concorde and we'll make it stop," said Daine, surprised at how loud his voice was over the ringing in his ears from that damn alarm. His skin felt like it was crawling from trying to change.

"We?" Ydris echoed. He scoffed. "Oh, so you brought that court of fools with you, did you? Well, no matter." Ydris straightened up, though his face was still contorted in pain. "Let's dance, little flea." That insult was only marginally better than freak.

As Daine watched, the shadow of the tent coalesced into living masses lit from within by two glowing red eyes. As he watched them begin to move around the tent, Daine recognised them as Shadow Seekers. What was Ydris doing with evil entities from Pandoria? God, had Daine been crushing on a villain this whole time? He really was stupid, then.

And there was Ydris, reclined on a Shadow Seeker like a fucking foppish dandy. Daine bared his teeth as he directed Cloud to ride closer to him. But, just as Daine got close enough to grab Ydris by the sleeve, Ydris vanished from his grasp, reappearing on the other side of the tent. Daine cursed.

"Cheating asshole!" Daine roared, wheeling Cloud around to gallop after Ydris again. Ydris' eyes widened, and Daine thought that he could see hurt there. But he continued on, taking advantage of Ydris' momentary distraction to latch onto his arm. Ydris cursed, struggling to free himself from Daine's grip, but the proximity to the clock weakened his powers so that he couldn't teleport again.

"Please, you don't have to do this," Ydris pleaded, his eyes wide and his face pale.

"After everything you did? You deserve it," said Daine, his voice singing with anger and hurt. He shoved Ydris closer to the clock until Ydris lost his grip and fell, landing on top of the clock. Immediately, the pain singing through every nerve of Daine’s body vanished. He was almost grateful. Daine dismounted, finding them in the centre of the tent once more, and picked Ydris up by the front of his fancy tailored shirt.

"You have made a grave mistake, Daine," said Ydris, and Daine hated how much hate was in Ydris' eyes.

"No, that was you," said Daine. This close to the ringing clock, his vision became spotty, his bones aching. Still gripping Ydris, Daine kicked the clock away, sending it flying over to the side of the tent. The alarm only got louder, the harsh ringing becoming all that Daine could hear. Daine dropped Ydris, falling to his knees as the pain overwhelmed him. He hunched over, his hands over his ears trying to block out the sound. It didn't work.

Daine was only aware of danger when Cloud's voice once more broke through his thoughts. One word was enough, just from the fear and remembered pain in it. "Dad!"

And Daine looked up to find huge, purple-scaled tentacles waving in the air, inside the very circus tent where he'd once felt so safe. His heart seemed to freeze in his chest as he was brought back to Pandoria, back to the pain, to the confusion and fear and nothingness that had followed. That had been when he'd first started to feel something for Ydris, or the first time that he'd noticed, anyway. But now, the tentacles of Garnok were back, and Ydris was incapacitated. Because of him.

"Now you've done it," said Ydris, his tone accusing. "By rendering me powerless, you also broke the wards preventing Garnok from coming through into your reality. I hope you're happy, Daine, you've just destroyed any hope that your world had."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Daine snapped, glaring at Ydris from where they were both curled on the ground in pain. "I'm not the one who made this fucking reality in the first place!"

"It's such a shame, too," said Ydris, his tone sad now. "I would have given your world such a beautiful ending." And now sadness was added to the mix of anxiety and pain, and Daine felt like he'd drown under these intense emotions.

"Stop him!" said Daine, gesturing his hand out towards the tentacles. The pain from the clock threatened to make him keel over, but his anger gave him strength.

"I can't," said Ydris, his eyes flashing with anger. "Not with that horrid contraption making that horrendous noise!" He gestured towards the clock, though it was a weak motion.

"Fine, I have to do fucking everything myself," said Daine, getting to his feet on shaking legs. He jogged over to the clock, even as the pain kept him hunched over, and fell to his knees. He couldn’t stand now even if he tried, though his back was to the tentacles and his mind screamed at him not to do that. He was very aware of how exposed his back was right now, his scar burning like a line of agony that dug deep to his very bones. A tentacle lashed overhead, bringing with it an all-too-familiar memory of a sudden tearing pain in his back followed by nothingness. Fear threatened to freeze Daine on the spot, but... but Ydris had said that he could fix this. And anyway, if that fucking clock didn't stop soon, Daine was going to lose his fucking mind.

As he looked down at the clock, his vision greying at the edges, Daine looked within himself for his fire. It was easy to find. With how scared, how angry, how heartbroken he was, his flame leaped for him, consuming him. And, with purple flame licking at his fingertips, he drove his fist into the artfully-carved clock. Smashing glass and metal tore open his skin, making him cry out in pain, but the sound continued on. And Garnok was coming, would be here any minute if Daine didn't act quickly.

With that thought fuelling him, Daine tore the clock apart, his flames licking at the insides and burning it to a shell. And at last, the ringing, and the pain with it, stopped. Daine remained hunched over the clock, though, staring into the flickering flames as he panted. It was too much. Sure, the pain might be fading, but now, with those tentacles, he swore that he could feel blood running down his back from a wound that was too fresh. There was never any blood, of course, but he couldn't shake the feeling. Garnok was here, Ydris had betrayed him, he'd been partially to blame for Garnok coming through to Jorvik, Ydris had had Concorde all along and was working against the goddess that had a shard of herself implanted in his soul, he'd fallen for a god damn villain, and he'd lost the only person he'd ever loved after Tyler all because of his stupid actions, of this stupid destiny, and he still didn't know why the clock had hurt him so much or why his fire was purple like the maze or why he'd even been affected by the clock at all. As Daine's mind raced, his breathing came faster, sharper, he couldn't seem to get enough air or slow his thoughts enough and everything was spinning and-

"Daine?" That voice. That fucking voice brought Daine back down to earth, stopped the tears, stopped the panic, reminded him to breathe. And that fact, how calm he felt now, hurt worse than anything else. How dare Ydris still affect him, still make him feel so good, when he'd betrayed him like this?

Rage simmered just below the surface as Daine got to his feet, his blue blood still dripping from his hands onto the dirt floor of the tent. The blood was strange, too, though he could ignore it for once. He could ignore everything but the angered screaming in his head, a mix of his own rage and Aideen’s primal rage for keeping her from Anne, as he strode across to where Ydris stood using the centre pole to brace himself. He hadn't even noticed the tentacles disappear, he'd been so deep in his fear, but Ydris had probably done that. Saved them. Saved him. But no. Daine stopped in front of Ydris, his heart breaking as he looked into those purple-tinged eyes.

"You win," said Ydris. "The Fantastic Flying Foal is out. Too full of himself." As he spoke, the cage containing Concorde (he'd been moved inside after Daine had discovered him) lowered to the ground, the gate opening to allow the foal out. Daine let Linda deal with that, let Tan deal with the light grey Lusitanos. He had business with Ydris.

"I'm sorry we ruined your show," said Daine, holding his arms out. "C'mere. A hug should make you feel better."

The eagerness with which Ydris stepped into Daine's arms was almost enough to convince Daine to change his mind. Almost. But Daine's heart was still heavy, his eyes still burning, his body still shivering from that remembered pain. And so it was only too easy to remember his rage, to heat his body up far more than he ever had before, even when it was cold enough to freeze water. Only too easy to grip Ydris tighter in the guise of a warm hug and channel all of his anger and sadness and fear into that hug.

Ydris had betrayed him. Hurt him. Daine remembered that as the smell of burning fabric reached his nose, as Ydris gasped in pain and tried to pull away, as he heard the flames licking hungrily at Ydris coming from Daine's very body. No more. He wouldn't let Ydris hurt him like that again, wouldn't let him ever feel good again, wouldn't let him be around for anything like that. He wanted to burn away everything that Ydris had ever made him feel, wanted to just forget him and leave him nothing more than ashes.

And he could do it. He knew that he could do it. It would be so easy to punch his hand through Ydris' chest, burn him like he'd burned that clock that still smouldered in the background. With Ydris this weak, Daine knew that he could quite easily take him out. For keeping Anne from the Soul Riders. For the golden horse. For calling him a freak.

A broken sob preceded Daine shoving Ydris away and staggering away from him. He couldn't do it. Aideen help him, Daine couldn't bring himself to kill the man he'd fallen so hard for. Could hardly bear to even look at him.

"Stay away from me," said Daine, shooting the man a glare as he made his way back over to Cloud and climbed back up into his saddle. Cloud pinned his ears, quietly asking his rider if he was okay. Daine didn't answer, only rode away. Far away from the circus, from the burned man within, from that heartache.

Running from his problems, just like he always did.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daine returns to the circus. Back to the Tent(acle) happens about halfway through this chapter and then Tether happens right after this chapter.

Cold. The cold was all that Daine knew, penetrating straight to his bones, freezing what little breath remained in his lungs, almost freezing him solid. But he couldn't stay still. Couldn't, despite his frozen bones, despite how the cold sapped his strength and energy from him, couldn't just float here in this freezing expanse when he could see Cloud still struggling feebly only a few feet away. Holding his breath as best he could, Daine swam towards Cloud, towards the shape of his dark horse moving far more sluggishly now. And then the horse stopped moving, and Daine felt his heart stop alongside Cloud's. He didn't want to die here, didn't want to go to a watery grave, but...

Blackness closed in until it was all that Daine knew, that and the sheer cold and the sensation of his chest filling with cold water to replace the emptiness that remained with Cloud's passing. And... a sharp whinny.

Daine sucked in a deep breath as his eyes flew open, his heart pounding so hard that he was sure it was about to burst out of his chest like some bizarre cartoon. His nerves sang with anxiety, the covers of his bed twisted around himself.

The whinny came again, and Daine looked out the window to see the moon shining on the pale parts of a bay tobiano horse's coat. He scowled, leaning out the open window.

"Get home," Daine grumbled, shooing the troublesome trakehner away. He should really return Trouble to his home, but... fuck, that nightmare had really fucked him over. Especially seeing Trouble and remembering when he'd had to go back to that damn place to rescue his friend after Trouble had thrown her off. Daine rubbed his hands over his face, pushing back his tangled black hair. He took deep breaths, wishing that he could calm his racing heart.

Sitting there in bed, the covers still tangled around his legs, chest heaving, shaking all over, Daine wanted nothing more than to go to Ydris. He swallowed thickly, closing his eyes. But that brought back the darkness, so he instead opened his eyes again and stared at his darkened room. The faint moonlight picked out the shapes of his dresser, his nightstand, the dark posters on the walls. The framed photographs of Cloud. He'd learned, after months of dealing with anxiety, that taking inventory of his surroundings would help. And it did slowly calm his racing heart, allowed him to take deeper breaths.

With the anxiety faded now to a dull roar in the background, all that was left was the intense desire, the need, to see Ydris. Daine knew that he shouldn't want to see him. That he certainly shouldn't go to him. It would be stupid, especially with the pain of a few weeks ago still a fresh wound on his heart.

It was the middle of the night, anyway. Ydris would be asleep. He tried not to think of how soft Ydris looked when he slept. How gentle. Almost weak, fragile. So human. Not... Pandorian. Daine was still trying to wrap his head around that, not that he'd really thought about it. He couldn't, not when thinking about Ydris hurt him enough that he wanted to drown his sorrows in the nearest illicit substance. But now, as he hugged his knees to his chest and rested his chin on his knees, staring at the now-blurring dark shapes of furniture in his room, Daine let himself think about it. Ydris had just been a refugee, running to Jorvik to escape Garnok. Daine closed his eyes again, breathing in deeply. He saw Ydris imprinted on his eyelids.

"Fuck it," Daine muttered. He fell back onto his back, curling onto his side under the covers. With the anxiety passed, he was cold now. Freezing, almost. And that wasn't too surprising, not when he hadn't been able to access his fire since he'd tried to burn Ydris alive. Ydris probably wouldn't want him, anyway. Why would he, after that?

But, when Daine made his way to the highland the next day, money in hand and a thought in his mind and a half-truth on his lips, Ydris gladly took him back into the wagon where he'd once spent so much time. Took him back into his arms, back into his bed. And Daine couldn't deny the surge of warmth that he felt, just being entwined with Ydris on that bed. And it had only a little to do with the physical things that Ydris did to him.

The warmth overflowed after the act, when Ydris pulled Daine closer to him on now-clean sheets. Daine could still feel Ydris' touch all over his body, but he'd also noticed the look of surprise in Ydris' eyes when he’d first shown up. Surprise and… relief? Or maybe that was just what Daine wanted to see. He'd heard his new nickname, too, and it burned. Phoenix, huh? He supposed that that was fitting.

"I am truly sorry for ever making you hurt, my phoenix," said Ydris after lying with Daine's arms around him for some time in silence. "I should not have hurt you so." Daine's eyes burned, and he closed them against tears.

"You're the one who should be getting an apology, not me," said Daine. Though he did admittedly enjoy the apology.

"I broke your heart, my phoenix," said Ydris. Daine was trying so hard not to cry.

"I'm surprised you still want to be with me after what I did," said Daine, his voice rough with emotion. "I burned you, Ydris, I tried to kill you."

"I deserved to be burned after what I did to you, my phoenix," said Ydris. "For betraying you like that. I only want you to be happy. It is all I want." Daine's breath hitched in his throat, but he tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to emerge. He wanted to stay here with Ydris, he didn't want to leave. He hugged Ydris a little tighter, trying to ignore the fact that the last time he'd hugged Ydris, he'd had a different thought in mind. Now, though, he just wanted to get closer.

"The clock hurt me more than you did," said Daine. "It-" His words choked off in his throat, his fear strangling him. Ydris hushed him with a finger to Daine's lips, making Daine tremble with emotion. Fuck, this was too much. He hadn't paid for cuddling, anyway, he should go.

"Leaving so soon?" Ydris asked as Daine pulled away from Ydris and began searching for his clothes.

"I've got stuff to do," said Daine. "And you probably do too."

"If you are certain," said Ydris. He reclined on his side as he watched Daine get dressed and leave, but he spoke again before Daine reached the door. "Don't be a stranger." The heat in his gaze made Daine blush, and Ydris was still smiling as Daine left.

But the smile faded as soon as the door closed behind Daine. Ydris sat up, returning his clothes to his body. He had work to do.

Ever since Ydris had met Daine, the young man had fascinated him. His fire magic alone was enough to take Ydris' breath away, even before he'd felt the full might of it used against him. He hadn't healed those burns magically, either, instead allowing them to heal in their own time. The imprints of Daine's hands on his skin where they'd burned through the fabric had been a constant reminder of the pain that he'd inflicted on his phoenix. Now, though the burns and the pain with them had faded, Ydris swore that he could still feel that heat inside his skin.

But Daine's comment about the clock hurting him... now, that had intrigued Ydris. Enough so that he'd begun to do some research into his own kind. He hadn't been aware that hybrids existed, but they must do. After all, he'd also been unaware that the Soul Riders had powers unlike any he'd ever seen before. Well, not the four Soul Riders, precisely, but the young humans who had fragments of Aideen's light in their souls. Daine had one, Ydris could see it burning. It was part of the reason why Ydris pushed Daine away. But the other reason... well, that was harder to explain. He shouldn't be feeling this way about a Keeper of the Light. Not when the original Aideen and her followers had banished Garnok to his home, destroying everything. Daine hadn't been responsible for that, though.

Ydris shook his head, trying to dislodge the constant agonising over Daine's destiny. He had to stop doing this, he was here for different reasons. And sure, Daine was fun, and he liked him a lot, but he couldn't let himself be distracted.

But oh, how he wanted to. Wanted it more than he'd wanted anything.

Right now, though, Ydris had to stop getting distracted by Daine, by thoughts of taking him as his lover in more than body, in order to help Daine. Because, though his fire powers might just be a side-effect of being a Keeper of the Light (one friend could control plants and shoot lightning, another could heal and manipulate with her voice if only she could see that, another had very strong powers of persuasion), Ydris was fairly certain that the other things had nothing to do with Aideen. Surely, the others would have reported changing forms in Pandoria. And the Cosmic Clock was only supposed to affect Pandorians, so the fact that it had hurt Daine was... concerning.

And here it was, fittingly about halfway through the large tome titled Pandorian Anomalies, between the Pandorian cats (far larger than regular human's cats and coming in a variety of colours from regular cat colours to some more rather unusual coats, purple stripes and rainbow patterns and shifting splotches of colour over solid coats) and flowers that grew both in Pandoria and in Jorvik. Pandorian hybrids, the children (or descendants, as Daine most likely was) of the intermingling of Pandorian and human genes. The reason (or at least the main reason) why Ydris concealed the true nature of his genitals- a condom could not be applied to a tentacle, at least, not easily, and he was damned if he was going to go to all the trouble of creating potions and drawing runes just to have a quick fuck that probably wouldn't even be good. Besides, he'd found that he preferred the company of men.

According to this book, Pandorian hybrids were rare, simply due to most Pandorians despising humanity (Ydris had been among them, but now, he was confused), but they did happen. Some hybrids looked human, some looked Pandorian, and others... and here, Ydris stared intently at the page, drinking the words in.

Some Pandorian hybrids could change their form in a way similar to werewolves (which existed in both Pandoria and Jorvik, though they were vastly different). In times of extreme emotional distress, for example, they could change their form, or when they were in close proximity to Pandoria. He remembered finding Daine in Pandoria, a broken thing with cat-like features appearing through his clothing. But only the ears and tail, the rest was human with just a bit of fur covering his skin. Well, aside from the fangs and claws, though Ydris hadn't had much time to pay attention to them. He'd been too intent on getting Daine back to Jorvik, back to his wagon, to heal him.

And now, though it hurt, Ydris remembered what Daine had looked like upon returning. How his eyes had continuously changed colour, from golden to blazing purple with slitted pupils, how his claws had shredded so many sheets. Daine hid his eyes now whenever they made love, though he hadn't only a few minutes ago. Or was it hours now? Ydris wasn't sure, still unused to the concept of time. But perhaps... perhaps Daine hadn't needed to hide his eyes. After all, the claws hadn't appeared. Perhaps Daine had lost his spark, perhaps that flame had gone out. Had Ydris done that to him? He deeply hoped that he hadn't, and yet...

Well, the last thing that Daine had burned, to Ydris' knowledge at least, had been him. Perhaps Daine's feelings for him ran so deeply that they affected his very magic. Or perhaps that was a little selfish of him. Daine did seem to care for him, but... did he still care, after Ydris had betrayed him like that? Surely, Ydris didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve the love of such a wonderful man as Daine. And Daine deserved someone better than him.

But Ydris still found his thoughts returning to Daine. Still found his heart hoping that Daine would return. Still wished that Daine hadn't left so suddenly. Still found his magic reaching out to locate that special light, the one that burned with a purple and yellow flame. Locating it, and latching on. If Daine truly was part Pandorian, then… then surely, Ydris had a responsibility for looking after him. Yes, that explained why he cared so much for him. That must be the reason.


End file.
